Types of Adultery
Lies have existed, perhaps, as long as humanity. Ancient philosophers wrote about it, it’s written in the Bible. Life develops, but lies accompany our lives, bringing in a lot of troubles.
Among a number of problems appearing in marriage the problem of unfaithfulness, is perhaps one of the most painful.
The first emergence of adultery was caused by men’s need to be sure about the continuation of his bloodline through children.
The main law of marriage has always been fidelity. Although a marriage
of love was considered to be ideal, in many layers of society love wasn’t a necessary reason to get married.
In spite of the passage of time, such things as “unfaithfulness” and “fidelity” are still prevalent. Love for a modern family is an important foundation for getting married, and it is often the only motive to marry. That’s why unfaithfulness can damage or even destroy a family.
Fidelity is obligation; it is a linking piece of not only a conjugal union, but also any other union. Fidelity to the Motherland, military debt and ideals has always been cultivated. Opposite to fidelity is adultery. Unfaithfulness has always been regarded as disgrace and equal to betrayal.
Adultery is a result of conflict and collision, and it has a lot of psychological motives. Because of adultery a family is often destroyed. A human is unfaithful because of disappointment in family life, but how and why does it happen? How does love turn into indifference, hostility, and even hatred? Adultery can be in normal families, and it can be absent in destroyed ones. It should be mentioned that the field of family counseling shows that unfaithfulness is found quite often: in every fourth case. Cases of adultery, in general, are the following:
- A new love. As a rule, this reason of unfaithfulness is typical of marriages in which there was little love, or there wasn’t love at all. These are rational marriages based on profit, traditions, fear of loneliness, and other motives.
- Revenge. A lot of adultery is comes from a wish to have revenge for the spouse’s unfaithfulness to restore his/her own dignity.
- Desecrated love. Sometimes unfaithfulness is found in families without mutual feelings. One of the spouses suffers from ignoring his love. This stimulates him/her to bring it into another partnership where a mutual feeling is possible. Sometimes an unfaithful person doesn’t love a new partner, but answers the partner’s feeling, feeling sorry for the loving person.
- Search for new love experience. This type of unfaithfulness is typical of spouses having lived together for a long time, when their feelings have faded. This version can happen under the influence of movie examples of what “a beautiful life” is or as an imitation of sexual freedom.
- Compensation. A person compensates for a lack of love relationships, appearing as a result of long parting, an illness of a spouse, or other limitations.
- Total parting of a family. In this case being unfaithful is making a new family, when the previous one is not treated as a family.
- Accidental relations. As a rule, this kind isn’t characterized by regularity; it can be provoked by certain circumstances (intoxication, a partner’s persistence, etc.)
Unfaithfulness not only threatens the family union, the spouse’s feelings and dignity, but is also accompanied by jealousy, a destroying feeling.
Jealousy depends on how often someone was unfaithful before; unfaithfulness
hurts especially trusting and dedicated people, whose morals don’t accept it.
For many people a partner’s repentance is very important. If other people find out about someone’s unfaithfulness and they try to middle with the people’s life, the situation gets worse.
Depth of suffering from unfaithfulness mostly depends on how much the wronged party loves their partner and how afraid they are to lose him/her. There emerges a question, should they talk about the unfaithfulness or not? Of course, a person who was unfaithful is tortured by guilt and he/she wants to get rid of it. Sometimes pangs of remorse are so painful that a person wants to be punished if it helps.
He/she wants to share this burden with the partner, but the person doesn’t think the partner could accept it. The partner’s reaction should also be predicted; he would be hurt, offended by your confession and he would feel betrayed. Not every person would be able to forgive adultery and never mention it. However, seeing sincere repentance, a loving person would be able to forgive; many families who have gone through the same
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