Growing Old Gracefully

Cosmetology is not almighty – even with

limitless funds, it’s impossible to look like 16 years old all your

life. That’s why it’s a good idea to learn to accept your

age gracefully.

This is an interview with Galina Germanovna Altuhova, psychiatrist with

the Moscow Center of Natural Medicine, “Medart polikura.”

You can miss it, but not too much

It is taken for granted that youth is associated with beauty. Youth passes

away and so does attractiveness. The first hints of age are taken most

seriously. It is very stressful for a woman to find the first little wrinkle

on her face. It is even worse for women who live in large cities, like

businesswoman, who are always in the center of cultural and social life.

Actually, the first shock of appearance change can result in depression

and low self-esteem. Avoiding this means you have to develop a calm attitude

toward the first wrinkles and other changes which would certainly follow.

How do you do this?

1. Remember that depression doesn’t make a person more beautiful. Don’t concentrate on emotions. Sad thoughts about fading beauty will only speed up the process.
2. Don’t try to compare the way you look now with your appearance when you were young. Tell your reflection in the mirror, “Yes I have changed, but I am not worse than I was before. My beauty is just a little bit different – it comes from inside. And it is based on my life experience which is only growing richer and richer with every year.”
3. If you feel that you don’t fit the previous criteria of attractiveness, then it is time to change them. For example, you used to think that only a young woman can be beautiful, but not a forty year old. Old women were not even considered to be beautiful. And now look at them in the street, office or on TV. You will notice that many of them look great with the help of cosmetics. It means that you, too, can look fabulous.
4. Think of what “beautiful old age” really is – but the aim should be achievable for you. For example, you have beautiful curly hair. It will still look great when it turns a little gray. You will be surrounded by grandchildren and your love for them will brighten your eyes and make them attractive. You will keep the habit of doing sports activities (or acquire it) and it will help maintain your posture. If you aim for a “beautiful old age”, you will have it.
5. Many women take the fading of their beauty very seriously because, subconsciously, they think, “only beautiful women are loved.” They think that getting older means that nobody will ever love them.
   
   Such superstitions are always in the air; many heard them when they were children. They take them for granted. But what if you believe them? Actually beauty and love are not interconnected. You might remember some of your friends who were not really beautiful, but were happy with their family life. You can also recall some sayings, such as “Don’t be born beautiful, but happy”.
   
   And lastly, love has different forms – this feeling doesn’t only occur between a man and a woman. Do you think that your children, your sister or your dog will love you less because your appearance has changed?
6. The first wrinkle makes you think about life. Use it to your advantage. Chase away the thoughts that life is coming to an end. It’s better to think of the good things waiting for you. What would you like to fill your life with? It’s quite possible that you will come to an interesting conclusion and will thank the first wrinkle for giving you the opportunity to think about life.
7. Don’t neglect meditation and self-perception. Tell yourself: “I am beautiful and attractive.” It’s so simple, but it works! It is better to do it in front of the mirror. Do it every time you feel that you’re losing confidence.
8. Remember: positive and negative self-perceptions work equally well. So stop criticizing yourself. If you tell yourself everyday that you’re unattractive, after a month you will look older.
9. If you are really depressed about your age, it’s probably not the wrinkles that make you feel sad. The cause of your depression is something else. Think about your way of life, the people surrounding you, the things you miss. Stress can be amplified by loneliness or failure in the professional arena. Women who have families and good jobs are less stressed about getting old.