Tips To Becoming More Patient
Unfortunately, patience is not always rewarded. You will not win a million dollars because you control yourself and are not rude to your boss. But you will not be fired and will feel your strength because you can keep yourself in hand. Still, to stick to the job where the boss is dull or not - this is the question.
Patience is not resignation or inability to resist problems. Patience is self-restraint, the will to victory, and the ability to wait and to accept the world as it is. Patience is skill to hope. It has nothing to do with idleness and passivity, and each new life phase broadens the limits of our patience. The thought that we need to just wait a bit and everything will be all right is an illusion. It only seems that your raise will immediately make you happy or that as soon as your children grow a bit you will be able to pay more attention to yourself. In reality, miraculous changes do not happen. Having achieved something, you realize that the real happiness is still to come, and you again have to make a goal and to press towards it – persistently and patiently. Patience is made of several skills.
The first and the main skill - an ability to divide a big aim into small ones and to move ahead step by step. You will find this advice in any book with the word “Success” on the cover. But there you will not read that the main problem is to aim at this small goal with the same perseverance as the big one without breaking your fervor on the way.
The second skill – an ability to not to give up after the first attempt. Actually, it's determination that does it. Do not hang your head if the call to your would-be customer was not a success. Do not think that you are worse than anybody else if you were not hired. Do not believe that your ex was right calling you the most unbearable creature he had ever met. If at first you do not succeed, try, try, try again. You can stop trying only in one case – when you lose interest in your goal…and find a new one.
The third skill – an ability to do everything from beginning to end. Actually, perfectionism is a part of patience. To see how often you try to make everything perfect it is useful to step back and look at your work from the outside. Do this as impartially as if you evaluated the work of somebody else. In this case, your “super ego”, or your inner inspector comes to power. It accepts or rejects your work. One more thing: to play the role of a person whose opinion you value and to check your work one more time.
The fourth skill – an ability to wait. Let yourself wait without worrying. Do not try to foresee events and to imagine how your dreams come true. The highest point of patience skill is to wait without thinking about it. Then everything comes in time. There is something from oriental wisdom in this magic formula, and it can help to get around everyday civilization with its supersonic speeds and never-ending pressure from the outside.
7 ways to control anger
- Put “a patient stone” into your pocket. It can be a round button or a ring. The main thing is that the object should be smooth and pleasant to touch. This is our secret bead. When you feel the outbreak is coming, touch the stone.
- Count to five before speaking. Do not express in anger the things you will have to apologize for later. Count very slowly and each time take a deep breath. If you have counted to ten and haven’t calmed down, keep on counting.
- Grade your irritation on a ten-point scale. From one to five – you are almost O.K. From six to eight – you are angry but able to control yourself. Nine or ten – outbreak is coming. What to do next? Nothing. While you were reflecting over your state you certainly calmed down a little.
- Imagine that it happens with somebody else, not with you, that you observe the situation from the outside. How do debaters look like from this position? Focus on the details, especially on funny and absurd ones.
- Ask yourself: “Are you still flying?” American pilots are taught to ask themselves this question in an extreme case to cope with panic. Ask yourself if you are on the verge of a catastrophe, if you are in danger. You are still flying - it means that things are not so bad as they seem to be.
- Try meditation for the legs. When you are waiting for something for
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