16 Steps To Catching The Man Of Your Dreams
It seems like other women get the ‘right’ men before you even notice them – just like things on sale. But you want to have only the highest quality! Do you often ask yourself what you should be doing to get that ideal man? The changes begin with you!
For three years I had been in a rather stable relationship with a nice guy. He was kind, easy-going and caring, but from the very beginning I knew that he was not ‘The One’. We didn’t have much in common. I didn’t get why his eyes got dim and dreamy when he talked about Schumacher, and why he didn’t find anything exciting in camping, tents or boats. When I thought that we might live together “’till the very end”, I wanted to cry.
And then I went to the mountains to ski. There, sipping my drink at the bar, surrounded by tanned, muscular men, I realized that I couldn’t put up with somebody ‘quite average’ anymore. I decided that it’s better to be alone than to waste time on a man who’s not my “Mister Right”. I promised to myself to have fun and enjoy life until I meet Him. That’s what I told my ‘quite average’ boyfriend when I came back. Naturally, we broke up.
Once, lying on the sofa, I wrote down the list of qualities the Man of My Dreams should possess: sociable, faithful, loving, with a good sense of humor and a broad outlook, intelligent, leading a healthy life-style, well-read, generous… Plus 10 more qualities that I considered quite important. I finished the list, put it in the drawer and went to a club.
About a month later, partying with a friend of mine, I realized that I was sharing a table with Him. In my astonishment I was barely able to put myself together enough to open my mouth and give him my phone number. Thank Lord I did that!
It’s unbelievable how easy it was. Looking back, I see that the whole thing was just a lucky concourse of circumstances. Emotionally I was in great shape – for the first time in my life I knew exactly what I wanted from a man. I grew up and realized that I needed somebody more than a handsome Ken doll to boast of with my girlfriends. I needed something more serious. Also, I wasn’t trying to find somebody that very minute – I just wanted to live happily, with or without men. Essentially, I was happy. One thing did seem distressing: had I met him a couple months before, I would have never found him suitable – too dreamy, too eccentric… I could have lost the Man of My Dreams.
It’s rather hard to see the man you need. There are dozens of fake ‘ideal’ men, and may not always be ready to meet Him. So, to be on the safe side, you must work hard. Work on yourself.
- Be sincere with yourself.
So, you want to meet a nice guy? Admit it to yourself. Looking for Love is hard at first, but it’s worth trying. If you can openly say to yourself that you want to find happiness, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. It means only that you’re a mature and experienced person.
- Be sincere with the others.
When talking to other people, do not show off your independence and self-sufficiency. Do not pretend that you do not need anyone or anything. Tell your friends about your wish to find the right man. Ask them to look among their acquaintances; maybe, there’s the right person somewhere near. Let them arrange a blind date for you.
- Clean the mess in your life.
Unless you find out what kind of person you are and what kind of man you are looking for, it’s no use to starting the process. Try this: take a piece of paper, draw a circle and divide it into parts. One will be for your career, one for your man, one for your interests, and some more for hobbies, friends, etc. Size them according to what is most important to you. This simple diagram will help you to look at the situation as a whole and help you revise your priorities.
- Make it clear to yourself what kind of man you need.
Think about the qualities that are the most important to you in your partner: something you will admire, something you will never accept, something you will be ready to discuss. If it’s difficult, make a table with three columns reflecting these categories. Take every quality you can think of and place it in the appropriate column. Take this mental ‘personality chart’ with you wherever you go. But try to be flexible and make some changes if you feel like it.
- Put the stereotypes aside.
Some day you’ll realize that ‘handsome and rich’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘kind, loving and reliable’. Most likely,
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