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We Know Everything About Men

 

We know that womanizers are always unfaithful; when they say that they

love you, it means that they want you paypal casinos. When they say that they are tired

and don’t want sex, it means that they are impotent. When they say

that we look beautiful, it means that they are in good spirits. When they

say we are shapely, they feel very good, best no deposit.

 

 

We know that they don’t like shaving, because it is painful –

because they are overprotected. If they want to prepare dinner, be ready

for fire fighters. We know that they can’t dance – they think

that it is stupid and not for men.

 

We know that sly seducers and tempters have read two or three articles

in a men’s magazine and consider themselves supermen and Casanovas.

 

 

We know that they tell lies about their victories on the love front:

if they say that they had 10 women, it means that they had only one or

no one at all (yes, it can be true).

 

 

We know that they like to lie, to give obvious compliments; and they

think that we only love what we hear. It’s an old expression, but

everything has changed completely! We love by what we see and only by

what we see!

 

 

We know that they can’t dress; they don’t have a sense of

style and measurements.

 

We know they don’t understand how we can dress in this fashion!

 

We know that they are afraid to become a father and a husband; they

are afraid of virgins, long nails, red nail polish, red lipstick and clever

women. They are afraid to be rejected, to be bad in bed; they are afraid

of old age, grandsons, bald spots, grey hair and losing a car. They are

afraid of impotence, oaths, promises and hunger.

 

 

We know that they prefer riding to swimming, they like dogs, fried potatoes

and fish. They don’t like to be the first, fifth, and hundredth.

 

 

They can’t sew, knit, cook, love, speak, tell the truth, walk,

persuade, make, ask, sleep in pajamas or dine out.

 

 

They like to eat at night, to think in the morning, and to sleep in

the afternoon; they like to point, teach and show, direct, embrace, and

kiss.

 

 

They don’t like to feel sorry, sing, search, suffer, think about

the future, past or present; they do not like repairing, being photographed,

being stupid, funny, not shaved, old, weak or being a door-mat.

 

 

If you say, “Dear, soon there will be three of us!” he will

not understand we mean - our grandmother, child, mother, sister, or the

eighth kitten – but they will still disappear in a second –

it has been proven!

 

We know that you do not know that we know almost everything about you!

We know, but we can’t understand why you do IT in socks?

 

 

 

 

 

Why is it so difficult for you to say the three words, “I love

you”? Why do you like it when people feel sorry for you, but you

don’t like to feel sorry for other people? Why have you changed

that silly girl with blue tights and idiot laughter? Why is dropping a

tear during a burial a disgrace for you, but laughing at my new hairdo

is normal? Why are you constantly forgetting something?! The date of my

birthday, to walk the dog, to wash the dishes, to repair a tap in the

bathroom, to water the cactus (I think it’s not difficult to do

it once a month); to wash yourself, to give a compliment; the date of

your own birthday, a promise given last week.

 

 

We tell the truth – you lie; we speak – you cry; we sleep-

you snore. We love – you want, we underestimate ourselves –

you overestimate yourselves; we wash – you soil.

 

 

This can go on and on without end, but we have understood the main thing:

we are different, that’s why we are together.

 





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