A Man's Wishes

I wish:

1. Wifes’ birthday was on February 29th. Men would be able to stand it once in four years.
2. Plastic surgery to increase a woman’s bosom was included into the program of free medical insurance.
3. Four women and only one man were necessary for a woman to become pregnant.
4. Just crossing his fingers behind his back was enough to prevent a woman from getting pregnant.
5. All women had the same name to make communication easier.
6. All women had an allergy to gold, jewelry and animal fur.
7. All women had special filters in their noses which could prevent them from smelling of beer, onion and sweat.
8. A bikini was the standard uniform for businesswomen. And not only for businesswomen.
9. It was enough to blow onto a bra clasp to undo it.
10. A woman’s period was only once a year when it was time to start fishing.
11. It wasn’t possible to tie a tie and fasten a zipper on trousers.
12. There was a law allowing to set an office on fire once a month.
13. Hair from the nose and back would be easily transplanted onto the head.
14. It was possible to control erections and the length of the penis the same way you can control a loud-speaker.
15. There was no speed limit on the main road and it was required for the main road to be oval-shaped.
16. Men also had lots of orgasms.
17. Special socks were invented that could exist only in pairs. And if they were left somewhere, they would crawl to each other energetically.
18. A lavatory bowl’s seat would throw back by itself as soon as a man stood up.
19. There were special beds in bars for those who were not going to go home.
20. Garbage bags would leave the house by themselves. It would be enough just to push them properly with a foot.
21. A man who went to a kindergarten class holiday to watch his child dancing a gnome dance, was forced to attend the Thailand massage salon for psychological recovering.