The Truth and Nothing But…
According to a public opinion poll, when women were asked, “What is an ideal husband?” they answered: “ A blind, deaf, dumb captain of an ocean–going ship”
And if he is not a captain? Or he is a captain, but not of an ocean–going ship?
If, during many (or not so many) years of marriage, romance disappears and monotony sets in – even, sometimes, real hatred -- people usually find excuses, but only for men. The women in such situations are always blamed. But why?! Why is it so unfair? Why are those men who look at other women with desire not blamed?..
All of us dream about love that lasts a lifetime. But this is an ideal situation. It’s not always realistic and even the most passionate feelings change over time. Love turns into friendship, sympathy, compassion… So often, after a passionate honeymoon, people think about the time before they were married and wish that things could always stay the same. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons that people are unfaithful to each other. Let’s look at an unusual situation when a woman is suspected of being unfaithful.
A woman has been unfaithful to her husband. She suffers from remorse and doesn’t know what she should do – whether or not to tell her husband the truth. She should say nothing about her love affair either to her husband or anybody else in the family, even if she is eager to speak about this “terrible secret”. Even best friends can sometimes betray a confidence. Convince them that you have never been unfaithful. There is no man who will forgive unfaithfulness, especially if he is laughed at and compared with other men. The most important thing is to convince him that there was no place for unfaithfulness. Even if he sees you with your lover in bed, you must say everything that comes into your mind to prove your faithfulness – you have fallen, have lost consciousness and your mind, you do not know him, you see him for the first time, he has made you be with him, you were sleeping when he came… say everything but do not confess that he is your lover. Don’t confess! Your husband will believe everything you say because he wants to believe. Even if he begins asking questions, promising that he will forgive everything, do not confess. Let the secret die. A husband who demands the truth and has some doubts, doesn’t really want to know the truth. He just wants his doubts taken away. So, you must spare him, giving him a chance and the hope that everything is not true. This is for the situation in which he has some doubts in your faithfulness. And if he doesn’t suspect anything, keep silent and let your secret die with you.
Do not say a word about your previous affairs. Do not tell your boyfriend anything -- it doesn’t matter if you’re married or not -- about your former affairs – men are jealous of their girlfriends’ pasts and sexual partners.
Perhaps it happens because women are not so anxious about their sexual abilities and they are not afraid of the fact that a boyfriend might have had a more attractive girl in his past. In speaking about this, women are more self-confident and usually they’re not jealous of their boyfriends’ former girls. Romance is the most important thing! In love affairs women are more attracted by a romantic side, anxiety, sorrows, waiting for a date, excitement… An accidental unfaithfulness is not an unfaithfulness at all; it cannot be considered to be an unfaithfulness as it is. It must be considered to be a sudden infatuation for somebody, a brief clouding of the mind. It’s like a shake, relaxation which is allowed by a woman to feel that she is still desired and sexually attractive. To be unfaithful physically is nothing to be compared with a psychological unfaithfulness. If your wife has just had sex with somebody, do not make a mountain out of a molehill. There are more important things in marriage than a physical unfaithfulness. But if she feels, with her new partner, that spiritual intimacy which she does not feel with her present boyfriend, if life seems monotonous without him, now you must think that she is really unfaithful.
But if a woman always tells only the truth, life will be boring! Those couples who tell everything to each other have much more conflicts than those who conceal something.
“Tell the truth and only the truth, but not all the truth” is a very clever phrase.
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