Couple's Secrets to a Healthy Marriage
We all fall in love with love. We all want to fall in love. And when we finally find the love we've searched for, how do we keep it new, exciting, and satisfying both motionally and physically?
I spoke with 3 married couples who told me the secrets to a healthy marriage.
Secret #1: Date Night
Terry and John haven been married for seven years, but their secret is that they've never stopped dating; each other. They hire a babysitter every Saturday evening and go out. They will go to dinner and a movie. Other times they will play mini golf or pool. They will go bowling and sometimes even to an arcade. Sometimes they go by themselves, other times with another couple. They say that one evening every week keeps them feeling young and appreciative of one another's hard work. Having fun and relaxing together is important for them to stay close and communicate.<!--more-->
Secret #2: Gifts
Meredith and Adam have been married for twelve years. They both agree that the little things are not little at all. Every gesture of appreciation is a gesture of love. Meredith says, "I love coming home and seeing a bouquet of roses in the middle of the dining room table. It is nice that there doesn't have to be a holiday or birthday to be treated like a lady. A woman needs to be romanced or courted no matter how old she is. A woman wants to feel appreciated and beautiful." Adam smiles and says, "I love my wife and she deserves to know I love her. Sometimes words are not enough. I also try to get her a nice handbag or some jewelry every few months when I get a bonus at work. I celebrate my success by sharing it with Meredith." Meredith responds with, "and when I do some clothes shopping for myself, I will always get Adam a nice tie or shirt, sometimes a nice pair of jeans. I like to dress him in nice clothing. I know he doesn't like to go shopping, so I surprise him every couple of months with something new to wear. He trusts my taste in clothing, and I want him to look good."
Secret #3: Love Coupons
Isabelle and Eric have been married for three years. Before they got married they found something interesting at the card store during one Valentine's Day. They found a little coupon book. But this wasn't an ordinary coupon book. It was a love coupon book. They purchased one for each of them. Whenever either of them wanted to request some love, like a kiss or a back rub, they would present it to their partner. They had a lot of fun with it and when they ran out of coupons, they decided to start making their own. Eric said, "Why throw away a good thing! Since we enjoyed the coupons so much, we wanted to continue the tradition and just made up our own requests and printed them out on colored paper."
Then they told me about another little thing they recently discovered at Rite Aid of all places! While shopping one day at Rite Aid, Isabelle saw a little Valentine's Day section filled with teddy bears, silk flowers, chocolates, and a little thing called a love dice. She picked it up and didn't think twice to buy it. It was only $3. "You roll the dice and your partner has to do what it says. For example: back rub, foot rub, and kiss on the forehead, hug, and massage. I don't always want to ask Eric to do something, and sometimes he doesn't know what I want.
It's ok to ask for love, and this is such a cute and fun way for us to play with each other. It keeps our relationship young and has added a nice amount of spice to the mix!"
Stresses of work & life changes can affect us and therefore affect our marriage. The biggest mistake is to fall victim to things that can easily be controlled. Happiness is in our hands, but in order to fully achieve happiness, we must first know how to hold on to it. The people that love us are our biggest gifts; the secret to keeping them wrapped safely is to embrace them with open arms.
If you're healthy, you're happy. If your marriage is healthy, it will be a happy one!
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