Love and Money

When questioned, most families admit that they frequently argue

over issues of money. Psychologists assert that within these financial

quarrels lies a more serious issue – different views on life, different

goals and even mutual distrust.

Stumbling-blocks

As the traditional family way of life becomes a thing of the past, marital

relations become more complicated and knotty. Just 20-30 years ago married

life of most families was much easier: the man is a hunter; the woman

is a home maker. He earns the money, she takes care of the children and

runs the house. He has the vote, she has the opportunity to plan the family

activities around a budgeted allowance. As soon as the Soviet Union mode

of living was followed by the free market lifestyle, everything changed

upside down. What to do if both spouses earn equally and at the same time,

each one strives to be the leader? What to do if a wife’s income

is much more and than her husband’s, making him feel humiliated?

And does the wife have a voice in family issues if she stays at home with

the children and doesn’t earn a cent? How should a family budget

be planned if there is no stability? Should a couple spend the money together

or should each rely on his or her income only? Can they buy things on

credit or should they save money and pay in cash only?

These are just some of the important stumbling blocks that families

face. It’s hard to find a husband and wife who have never argued

over money. According to the polls, couples argue over money even more

often than over issues of jealousy. Issues of infidelity are the primary

reason for many arguments in almost half of the polled families, but money

is the reason in 75% of them. And, moreover, families argue about financial

topics regularly.

Psychologists claim that the most unpleasant thing about money quarrels

is not the spouses’ different views on how to spend money: after

all, all rational people can come to an agreement and find a compromise

irrespective of their opposite opinions. The most unpleasant thing begins

when one of spouses deliberately deceives the other in questions of money.

99% of respondents think one should not mislead a their spouse when discussing casino deposits

one’s income or expenses. At the same time, most women say they

do not always tell their husbands at what they spent on clothes, bags

and shoes. These are trifles of course, but big problems start from here.

Your money ego

Couples ague on account of money, but often it is just the surface reason;

behind it are deep differences in attitudes to life roulette casino, values, needs and

expectations. You have different views on life and, therefore, different

views on how to spend money.

Opposites attract, and it’s true even in terms of money. Psychologists

say, those who are likely to save money often marry spendthrifts. The

women for whom money is the main anxiety marry men who live lavishly.

Those who consider financial well-being to be the main constituent of

happiness find those who have little interest in material values. All

of these differences are the result of conflicting attitudes toward life

in general. To stop these money conflicts, there should first be agreement

about how each wishes to live and what each partner wants to achieve.

To spend or to save?

If under the same roof live two people, one of whom has been used to

economizing and saving up for big purchases, while the other is in the

habit of spending money as soon as it hits their pocket, conflict is inevitable.

The problem is that one of the spouses can’t imagine a quiet life

without a healthy money supply, while the other doesn’t want to

burden his/her head with such boring matters like financial planning:

after all, money comes and goes, so what’s the use of taking it

too seriously?

The wrong way out – to argue constantly and try

to convince the other that his/her way of living is correct. There is

a waste of time. For an economical spouse every wasted penny will cause

anxiety. For a spender, saved money will become a considerable reminder

of lost pleasures.

The right way out - to compromise: to set aside a certain

sum of money in a bank account every month. And the spender can have some

money as well, which he/she may spend as he/she likes without constant

scolding from the other spouse.

If, for instance, your husband has a frivolous attitude toward money,

you can try one other method: save money secretly. Psychologists and economists

agree that to feel safe, one needs a sum of money which the family can

live off of for 6 months should a difficult situation arise. This is the

approximate the sum of “reserve stock” one should aim to accumulate.

If your husband doesn’t know about this sum, there will be no conflicts

regarding whether to spend it on a plasma TV right away or to wait a bit.

To lie or not to lie?