Being a New Mommy - Means New Stress, New Worries, New Emotions.
Your feelings towards your newborn baby may be controversial and it’s not a wonder. Immediately after childbirth a woman resembles a child in a way: she is defenseless and helpless. If she doesn’t receive help during this period, the condition may turn into melancholy and deep depression. Her mood will constantly change, swinging rapidly from joy to sadness and deep sorrow.
To avoid falling into depression, you should have faith in yourself. Trust your own common sense. Trust your intuition and follow the prescriptions of the child’s doctor. Your love, care and contact are the main things your child needs. When researching child rearing, scientists came to the conclusion that nice, loving parents unconsciously do the right thing for their children. Be self-confident and don’t be afraid of making mistakes.
Almost every woman after childbirth, especially a first-born child, feels somewhat depressed. Her youthful life seems to be over, replaced with immense responsibility and maturity. Many things have become unattainable and some opportunities are lost forever. A young mother is worried that the young child won’t fill her life and keep it bright and exciting, as she is hoping. Sorrow and depression change into irritability and anxiety. Strange, normally insignificant things may provoke emotional responses; a young mother may cry easily and often. These are the results of post-partum depression, or the “baby blues.” It may pass in one or two weeks or may last longer. In this case family members are obliged to help the new mommy and the baby.
To cope with this depression a young mother should be free to leave the house without the child for at least a half an hour. The mother should always get a good rest, because being tired increases depression.
A husband shouldn’t forget that his wife is not only a mother, but also a woman. The husband should continue to acknowledge her as such by offering verbal support and a constant loving look.
To the extent possible, the mother shouldn’t overwork. Household chores should be limited to the sensible minimum; the mother should have meals with pleasure, communicate joyfully with the child and in general enjoy her life as a mother. A mother shouldn’t stop doing things like going to the theatre, cinema, and visiting friends. The whole family should help provide calmness and comfort either for the mother or for the child. A serene, healthy, happy mother sustains a gentle contact with the child, uses many cute senseless words, kisses the baby and strokes it. The baby feels loved, but such love doesn’t spoil. These are necessary measures for the baby to live successfully the first year.
According to the opinion of some psychologists, if the baby feels loved, treated with attention and tenderness, it appears to have trust in its surroundings, including the people it sees and the daily events of the everyday world. The background of a human soul is created: positive self-esteem (I’m loved, consequently I’m nice), self-confidence and initiative. The child grows cheerful, good-tempered and curious, treating other people with interest and affection. The child is capable of entering into long-lasting deep relationships.
If a child doesn’t trust the world, it grows up anxious, unconfident, aggressive and stubborn. It will behave timidly and cautiously in the presence of other people. All this testifies to the fact that a mother’s model of behavior may be the reason for a child’s caprices ad obstinacy.
Let’s discuss four typical variants of a mother’s behavior:
- Anxious: She is anxious about her child’s impulses. Willing to correct drawbacks, she often changes styles of intercourse with the baby: sometimes rewarding the child, other times punishing it. She will have the child examined at different clinics. This will only make the situation worse, because a child’s normal growing-up is impossible without a sustainable vision and understanding of the world. Changes often frighten a child, and the mother increases their quantity. Inconsistence is a striking feature of such a mother. She is full of controversial, questionable desires. On the one hand she wishes to maintain peace in the family and yields. On the other hand, however, she seems completely unwilling to spoil the child she is raising, and goes to the other extreme by forbidding everything. Such inconsistence doesn’t support the normal growing-up of the child.
- Melancholic: She suffers from a troublesome
crying baby. When depressed she avoids interacting with the baby, deprives
it of necessary love and care. The connection between the mother and
her child is broken. The situation may be changed if the mother stops
treating her child as a tiresome, annoying burden. If irritability and
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