The Right Way To Raise Your Son
Every mother does the best for her child to grow up healthy and happy, and if there is a son in a family, she tries to bring him up to be strong and brave. However, these efforts often lead to a directly opposite effect – a boy grows to be not sure of himself, secluded, he has difficulties with communication with his friends, he yields to problems. How can one avoid mistakes in a son’s upbringing? The most frequently asked questions are answered by physiologist.
- There are few parents who want their son to join the army.
At the same time, there is an opinion that the army is the right place
for boys to become real men, since military service hardens the character.
So what should one do?
Army habituates to discipline, orderliness, and ability to cope with difficulties. On the other hand, the disgrace that reins in our army brings threat to a young healthy man. And it is unlikely that there appears anyone who would disapprove of you if you find other ways to habituate to your son’s self discipline and patriotism. Sports will help him to feel strong, the absence of intensive parental care will make him independent, and patriotism is firstly cultivated in a family. But still if your son happens to join the army, be prepared that for the next two years he will live according to absolutely different laws, and it’s better to adapt to them than to protest against them. Explain to him that bullying (which is to some extent ignored by the army administration) appears to be not only in Russia, but other more civilized countries and is aimed to “knock” individuality out from a soldier, because the basis of the army is implicit obedience to orders. Young men with an extra-developed ego suffer most unlike others; not to make these two years a mere nightmare, a child should be in a good form, he should be social and loyal toward everybody who surrounds him.
- What should I do if my son is aggressive – he always
fights and offends other children?
Aggression is typical of both boys and girls, but boys can express it more directly – from time immemorial it was encouraged and considered normal, while tenderness and compliance were treated as drawbacks. Boys stand up for their place in their company aggressively, and they strive for leadership. However, high aggression levels can speak of the lack of self-confidence. The principle “the whole world is against me” speaks of the absence of a safe feeling, and this feeling is formed in a family. If parents (firstly mother) have a loving attitude to their son, and don’t reprimand him when he is feeling scared, or shout at him or suppress him, a son has this safe feeling. Otherwise, a child has a feeling of anxiety and fear of the world. Later, depending on his individual peculiarities, a child either fights with this hostile world or hides from it. Sometimes, heightened aggression is the result of energy excess that is suppressed by various norms and etiquettes. “Don’t run, don’t make noise, sit still!” – as a result, a child goes out and fights with the first one who seems to have looked at him in the wrong way. If your son turns into a big bully, you should act immediately in two directions. First, let the energy go out, that is, have your son take up some sport. In this case, aggression will find the right course and bring good to the child – he will become more confident and feel stronger. The second direction is psychological. You must love and respect your child so he can feel rest and emotional comfort, thus he will not need to keep watching the surrounding atmosphere to prevent any hostile attacks. In other words, if parents are understanding and well disposed, if there is agreement and inter-respect in a family, the world seems friendly to a child and he stops fighting with it.
- In what way can one identify a son’s tendency to homosexuality
and what should be done to struggle with it?
The question is still disputable whether the tendency to homosexuality is inborn or acquired. The tendency can be expressed by a child’s sex-role behavior changes – he doesn’t want to strengthen his position in his group actively, he shows sensitiveness, he feels more comfortable in girls’ company and plays their games with
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