Woman Knows: The Right Way To Raise Your Son

The Right Way To Raise Your Son

pleasure – puts toys to bed, feeds them, sews clothes for them,

while refusing toy cars, etc. Such boys are usually more tender, vulnerable

and sensitive than their peers. They don’t like to fight, yield

to any evident aggression, but at the same time, they like to be the

center of attention. Homosexuality is also a tendency for boys, who

have a good deal of narcissism, which is self-admiration. However, one

should start to worry only when all these oddities are displayed in

complexity. Moreover, one should remember, that the distinct perception

of sex comes at the age of 4 to 5; under this age children just compare

themselves to their peers and adults, trying to find similarities and

difficulties. At the same time, children show huge curiosity, which

sometimes frightens and embarrasses adults. However, there is no ground

for anxiety as a rule. If the violation stays at 8 to 9 years old, you

can address a specialist who will identify if the problem exists and

what to do with it. There are factors that influence boys’ sexual

orientation violation: no love from father or no love at all (unrealized

need for it will build and a boy will seek for it in other male adults),

parents’ wish to have a girl and unconscious obtrusion of a female

style of behavior to the son, or a cruel attitude from the mother (in

this case a boy considers women to be a potential humiliation source

and tries to avoid them).

If you realized that your son is gay or tends to be one, do not scold

or punish him, but figure out the reasons (perhaps, you just need to

change your own behavior) and correct your son’s behavior nicely.

Anyway, remember that this is your child and you must not reject him

under any circumstances.

My son is occupied with the computer all day long. How should

I break this habit?

Computer dependence is typical of those children who are disposed to

dependence in general. Some fall into drugs or alcohol dependence, others

are dependent on computers. It’s necessary to understand that

the stuff mentioned above is running away from the real world to an

imaginary one. The victims of this passion are, as a rule, children

who don’t feel love from their parents. It doesn’t mean

that parents don’t take care of them. Buying clothes and education

payments have nothing to do with love, in children’s opinion.

To love means to give enough attention, to respect, and to take into

account all the problems. If your son doesn’t get it enough, he

starts feeling needless, lonely and detached. This is where he feels

like going to another world, “where everything is easy.”

How should a father behave to raise a good son?

A father’s behavior plays an important role in a boy’s upbringing,

as a father shows by his example how to act in this or that situation.

If a father is the head of the family, a son will surely be oriented

to this model, and most likely, he will want to play a leader’s

role in a family of his own. But if a father is rude and tyrannizes

the relatives, a child will feel the lack of love, which can undermine

his self-confidence – he will feel weak and vulnerable in the

company of his peers. Too mild of a father with an authoritative mother

can form a character that would make a child be afraid of women subconsciously;

he will turn to be too yielding to his wife or will acquire a Don Juan

syndrome. First of all, an ideal father should be loving, but at the

same time strict with discipline. A father must keep his word and go

to the zoo if he happened to promise it. Generally, the principle is

quite elementary – demonstrate by your own example everything

that you want to cultivate in your son and involve your child in this

process. Don’t forget about the principle of the happy medium

– too strict an upbringing (a child perceives it as a tyranny)

or giving freedom of all action (a son will take it as absolute indifference)

are not preferable. As far as a feeling of man’s fullness goes,

so as not to develop any complexes in a son, a father should be a respectful,

loving and loved husband, since a harmonic relationship between a father

and a mother is the key to a son’s happy family life.

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