How Men Really Feel About Women

of various answers on the topic of what they can’t understand about

women. Here it is – a cry from the heart of the average statistical

man:

• You can talk to us, but don’t tell us what to do or how to

  do. If you know a better way, do it yourself and don’t try to

  convince us that we can’t even cook spaghetti.

• Sometimes we don’t think of you. In our life there are many

  other interesting things. For example: a Sunday hockey-match, a new

  computer game such as Doom, or a meeting with friends. But it doesn’t

  mean we don’t love you.

• Sunday means sports. It’s like a full moon or the interchange

  of ebbs and flows. Let it be so!

• Shopping doesn’t mean sport, and that’s why in our single

  day-off we won’t go shopping with you. It’s better for you

  to take a girl-friend.

• Ask about what you want. Gentle hints do not work, strong hints do

  not work, and evident hints do not work. Just say it in a straight way.

• Tears mean blackmail. Only cry if you’re really hurt and don’t

  fake it.

• Come to us with your problems only if you ask for help. We’ll

  help you. For sympathy, your girl-friend exists.

• It’s a pity that we don’t remember dates. Mark all the

  important events and anniversaries on a large calendar, hang it up in

  our sight, and constantly remind us of them.

• At best we have three pairs of shoes and five ties per season. Do

  not ask us which handbag out of the seven ones you bought last week

  suits your dress better.

• “Yes”, “no”, and “don’t know”

  are nice answers to a question if we’re too busy, for example,

  with clearing up the condenser of your car.

• We have a short memory. That’s why you can’t use anything

  we talked to you half a year ago about as an argument. All comments,

  after seven days, become inefficacious.

• Don’t ask us about your figure. If we’re still together

  with you, it means everything suits us.

• If something we have said can be interpreted in two ways, and one

  of the interpretations arouses grief or anger in you, we meant the other

  one.

• Please, hold back your comments till the advertising interval.
• And do not keep silence on us so angrily! If you don’t like

  something, it’s better just to say it.

• Our relationship will never be the same as in the first several months

  after our acquaintance.

• We don’t read thoughts. The lack of our telepathic abilities

  doesn’t speak of the fact that we’re indifferent towards

  you.

• Don’t say we should concern ourselves with our figures: pump

  it or, on the contrary, lose a dozen or two kilograms. If we do nothing

  it means nothing disturbs us.

• We distinguish 16 colors. A peachy or a lemon color is a juice, not

  a color. And we have no idea what tabby is.

• If we ask you what’s happened and receive an answer of “nothing”,

  we behave as if everything is okay. Answer frankly.

• If you ask a question and want to know the truth, get ready to hear

  the truth – whatever it may be.

• Don’t look at us in such a way! If something itches, we scratch

  ourselves.

• Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about if you are not

  eager to talk over such important themes as the collection of Finnish

  knives, or the new Ford of our best friend.

• If we have answered your question honestly, it’s not necessary

  to ask, “Really?”

Have a smile? Yes, men can be inattentive to us, they do not always

understand us, forget to present us with beautiful flowers and chocolate-bars

on days-off -- but they are of the same type as children, spontaneous

and somehow strange. And from the realization of this, we want to just

hug them and excuse everything poor. That is what I’m going to do

at once!