Women and Men: Differences in Self-Confidence
Self-confident people don’t have less doubt than others. But they can pull themselves together and turn their energy towards the right course -- and here is where we can learn something from men.
For many thousands of years, men have fought for what they wanted to have. Using physical strength, they got food, treasures, and beautiful women. Only the strongest survived and the struggle was to the last drop of blood. It is clear that in the days of high-technology, moot points are more rarely solved by means of a brute force. If a conflict occurs, men begin peaceful talks. However, genetic memory is stronger than technological progress. At heart, men realize that if their arguments won’t be cogent enough, there is always the last means - physical strength. It does not mean that they will use it, but the thought itself increases their self-confidence. Women, on the contrary, see their weakness. Here is the reason why it is difficult for us to argue with men: when aggression comes up, genetic memory works against us. We know that if they hit us, we won’t do it back. So, what can we do? First, we can remember that even predators attack only those who show their fear. Second, we should not forget that during all those thousands of years when men worked through their hand-to-hand technique, women perfected their persuading skills.
Men control themselves better
Beginning in childhood, boys are brought up as future defenders. They are convinced that they must not cry, must not be afraid of anything, and should offend the weak. They must be strong, have control over themselves, and be fearless. Society demands from a real man to be equal to any situation. And men try to meet these requirements. Still, it does not mean that in extreme cases men are not nervous. They are, but do not show their feelings and, therefore, the opponent has a feeling that the enemy is absolutely calm and sure in his power.
Women, by nature, are more emotional and sensitive. Their nervousness is more observable, it is easier to drive them crazy, and after that to strike at the weakest points. To avoid this, learn to control yourself in public. Watch your gestures, mimicry, and voice. When you are nervous, breathe deeper and do not do thoughtless things you might be ashamed of later. Your aim is to hold out to the moment when you are at home or some other place where you can get free reign of your feelings. You should not keep negative emotions inside, they must be allowed out. But self-confident people do not do this in front of strangers.
Do not forget about one more advantage: society demands from men that they keep themselves under control. Those who fail in this are considered to be a lump, a sop. Women, by definition, do not have to be strong. It’s just the opposite -- very often softness and compliance let you twist firm men around your little finger. Nobody expects you to pluck up your will in an extreme case, but if you manage, it becomes a huge force.
Men aim at the result
Men solve problems like an automatic machine: they aim at something and do everything to achieve it. But for all that, the process of their achievement does not matter much to them. The tactics and the strategy can change according to the circumstances, but the main thing is the result. Women, as a rule, pay more attention to the process. The questions that matter are: How to act better? How to behave? Have I done it right? It turns out that numerous trifles distract us from the main goal, and very often the purpose remains unachieved. You imagine difficulties, get scared of them, and as a result do nothing. To avoid this, set yourself to thinking only of a positive ending. Of course, you need to be aware of possible obstacles and ways of overcoming them. But the main rule of a self-confident person is the following: to solve problems when they come instead of worrying about the things that just appear in the distance.
Men are not afraid to offend
Men rarely confess that they have problems. It happens because, from the very beginning, men are not in the mood to consider other people’s feelings when they satisfy their interests. Purposeful men are aggressive. They have an aim and come to it without paying attention to what their colleagues and subordinates think about it. They are not afraid to offend or to seem rude. For women, on the contrary, it is extremely important what others think about them. They want to please everybody, to be admired and loved. And as a result, they agree to do things that they do not want to if only not to offend colleagues or friends. We do not want to be too persistent and to thrust our opinion on anybody. But to be self-confident and rude are not at all the same thing. The main difference is how you stand up for your point of view. If you do this politely and clearly,
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