Percentages Of Love
“One loves, the other just allows love” - this unromantic theory has been repeated in many popular psychology books. The statement is not indisputable in itself, but the problem is that many girls adhere to the principle that it's better to allow love than to show feelings.
Weighing the feelings
Have you ever thought about the fact that men also read psychology books (although they rarely admit it) and that they also prefer to “allow?”
The problem with popular psychology is that a man usually is not an actor. He plays the role of an object toward which we young ladies direct our charms, craftiness and slyness. He appears to be a primitive creature who cannot hide his feelings and blindly follows his instincts.
In reality, a man can also be charming, crafty and sly. And he is also accustomed to covering up his feelings. And, of course, he also prefers to be an animal-tamer, but not the animal in the cage.
Isn't that the reason people so often fall apart? Just imagine – two people live together and both of them say, “I don't love, I just allow you to love me.” And, as a result, there are a lot of unhappy people hoping to meet the person who will love them and will allow them “to allow.” They'll probably never meet this person; nowadays, we can all easily cover our feelings.
To cover – that's exactly the right word, because real feelings exist. If there were no feelings at all, life would be much more simple.
But you really love him! And he loves you! But neither of you dare enjoy the feelings fully. Instead of pouring out love to each other, you keep it deep in your soul, somewhere near the diaphragm -– but your love can’t be kept there and that's why it hurts you.
To understand how to deal with your (and his!) feelings, imagine love as a gift from God. Imagine it as a real, material present. It is given from above, one gift for the two of you. And the question of how to divide it is up to you.
In reality our opponent in the battle of the sexes can also be charming, crafty and sly. And he is also accustomed to cover his feelings.
50:50 -- You've got a quiet, steady feeling. You won't find any wild passions here, jealousy or madness -- only warmth and coziness, like in a chimney-corner.
40:60 -- This is also quite normal. The difference is difficult to discern. By the way, such a balance is really unstable and changes of ten percents occur now and then. Such a balance is often established, as a rule, in the very beginning of a love affair, when you are already in love, but mistrustful.
30:70 -- It appears that one loves, and the other just allows to love. What role do you prefer to play?
20:80 -- All right! Let's suppose that you've got everything, like in a fairy tale: the rare male specimen who doesn't read silly books and follows his own principles about the relations between men and women. Let's assume that this astonishing young man has seriously fallen in love with you and has even married you. Who wins?
He lives with the woman he loves, and you ... Speaking frankly, you are living with “whoever.” This is not only insulting, it’s humiliating!
Let's look further. Having gotten the man who is ready to do everything for you, you naturally will use it. And soon you will understand: the less you love, the easier it is for you to rule. You will willingly and knowingly get rid of these percentages. And the ratio in your couple is not 20:80 anymore, but 10:90 ... 5:95 ... 100! That's all! Now it's only he who loves, and you don't have any feelings for him.
I won't talk about the merely physical aspects of living with an absolutely unloved man. Let's stay in the field of psychology and metaphysics. So, you've got 0, and he has 100. What do you think the normal person would do with his one hundred percent?
Only an abnormal person will lament feelings deeply and beg you for a bit of reciprocity. The normal person will take all his capital of love and will go away because the gift of love from God was given to the couple. You have voluntarily refused to do your part and now your former partner can give it to whoever he wants.
It is clear that a susceptible man can be seduced more easily than a man in a stable, pacifying state. And much more easily than a person who has been single for a very long time.
You have probably noticed it yourself: men run after the girl who is in love (they feel that she has something to share), but they unconsciously avoid the abandoned girl because she is going to live on others' feelings.
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